Thought for the Month

With Apologies to William Shakspeare:

All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances..............

If indeed this is a stage and we are just actors, could it be I have forgotten my lines?

Imagine if Shakespeare were alive today............... not only would he be nearly 450 years old (if he ever actually existed at all) but would he actually be so revered? Endless paparazzi photos of the bard entering rehab for sex addiction to men and women, probably a reality tv show to find the next great playwright, allegations of plagirism, multimillion pound law suits and ultimately death in a lonely room somewhere, a spent, dried up entertainer who couldn't handle the adoration.

I liked him in O level English mainly because he gave our school an excuse to drive us to Stratford Upon Avon, drink beer at The Black Swan (AKA The Dirty Duck) down by the river (it was possible to kick a beer glass from the front of the pub into the river (or so I am led to believe)) watch a play and then have fun and frolics on the coach ride home. Happy Days! Now I am probably of the opinion that the tragedies are a little bit hackneyed, the comedies are not terribly funny and the histories are probably more than a tad overstated (Henry V - one of my favourites especially the Kenneth "Wallendar" Branagh filmed version - where at Agincourt the English overwhelmed the garlic munching Frenchie sorts, killing 17 million of them for the loss of 2 archers hit by flying shrapnell and a horse named Eric overcome by the smell of cheese). Having researched extensively about Agincourt over the years I can find no reference to Eric.................

It is a bad writer who has more words within (brackets/parentheses) than outside them. I am clearly guilty of being a very bad writer!

Coming Soon! My life Story! I know you can hardly contain your excitement dear reader..............

Jolly Japes on April Fools Day

Because NZ is currently 12 hours ahead of the UK (sometimes it is 11 and other times it is 13) today is sometimes yesterday and other times it is tomorrow (I hope that makes sense)

So if you need to know the Euromillions Lotto numbers give me a call because by the time they draw it in Europe I will already know the numbers. You should particularly make that call if you are a good friend or trustworthy relative with a view to sharing said monies................

Anyway, still broadcasting to an audience of 1 (me) I am thinking if I can do a year of this with no one reading me then there has to be a Hollywood film in it. Forget "Julie and Julia", "Mark and Markie" will be a blockbuster!

The thread started with reference to April Fools Day - we have already gone through Midday here so I am exempted from any further pranks this year (unless there is some time zone ruling for prankers or prankees surrounding the time zone in which the prank is perpetrated). So there is another time /  distance conumdrum like the moon one I posed yesterday (or was that today or maybe even tomorrow?)

I pulled one joke on a colleague with the help of my manager which worked well (my we laughed as I emerged from under my desk) and a further one at the sandwich bar I visit most days. The first involved a hangover story, the second olives. Don't say I don't live on the ragged edge of contemporary comedy.

Happy April. Coming soon! Thought of the Month (is there no end to my generosity to you my sole (soul) reader?).

Random thought

The older I get the less certan I am about so many things. Where once the confidence of youth meant I would have won the million Pounds (UK) on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" now I would be so overcome with indecision I would probably fail to answer the first question.

So my question to myself as I am the only one reading this is "The Moon that I saw this morning which was just a slither of lunar light - is that the same amount of moon my friends and whanau in the UK would have been seeing at the same time up there (it was dark here at 7am and it would have been 7pm there and so probably dark at this time of year). Or, will they get to see the same Moon tomorrow?

Can anyone disentagle this random thought and give me a definitive answer?

Welcome to my world!

Kia Ora!

The title of the blog says some of what I think it might be about. Other times I suspect is going to be a random mish-mash of thoughts that people who work in the fields of psychiatry and psychology will be running for their drugs or couches (I can never remember which one is which) in order to cure this foreigner abroad.

I suspect my audience is going to mostly be single figures (1 is the loneliest number) but it will be good for me to try and write something on a regular basis.

I see myself as a failed writer - mainly because I lack the confidence to ever finish anything or show it to anyone

As an only child (and at the age of 48 I might always be now!) I have always been terribly shy, but have always overcompensated to appear way more confident than I actually am on the inside

Alcohol may be a terrible thing, but it does help me feel more confident and able to sommunicate. It also makes me feel way more funny than I actually am

Not sure if there is spellcheck on the bloguniverse - I apologise for typos - I am too reliant on spellcheck now whenever I type anything

So anyway, here it is and here I am and so (hopefully) are you

A splendid time is (not) guaranteed for all, and tonight Mr Kite is topping the bill, or even Henry the Horse dances the waltz............... to coin a phrase or several misquoted ones.

Cheers
An Englishman in New Zealand

I'm an alien, I'm a legal alien