Beer Tonight

So don't expect anything too amazing on the blog front tomorrow!

Thought for the Month - June

It is indeed the 1st of June as Mrs W reminded me this morning with a pinch and a punch

I responded with a slap and a kick for being so quick - I didnt really before you involve the police

So the thought for June is:

"It is better to have love and lust then never to have loved at all"

See if you can spot the deliberate typos

Cold Mornings

Am I getting old? I am feeling the cold already this winter and we arent even at the start of it yet!

Maybe I really am a soft Pom!

DIY

I confess I am not the world's most handy man, but when things conspire against you when you are at least trying to be handy then I know that it probably pays to get a man in

Putting shelves up yesterday in the log room - prepped everything meticulously, measured, rechecked and then proceeded to perform intricate feats of manual dexterity with left and right hands

When completed the shelf ran with an alarming slope from left to right (or is that right to left) it transpired the brackets were slightly different lengths and I had used only 1 to mark out my drilling points etc

A little piece of wood for packing and the shelf is at least straight!

I hope it is still on the wall this morning - I didnt feel that I was brave enough to check it on my way out!

Sherlock

Loving the series.

But I don't like Sherlock's eyes - very spooky

Martin Freeman is sublime as Watson

Grammar

Not someone who is married to Grandpa................

"Flatmate Wanted (Fully Furnished)".................

Where are they expecting to find a fully furnished flatmate?

I saw that sign on the way into work this morning

I hope they are not majoring in English (or furniture design)

Book Depository Dot Co Dot UK changed my life!

Fanatastic service and great product

Did I mention free shipping? Love it

Ordered Mrs W some Donna Leon books this morning - she will love me even more!

More about Beer and Cheese

I think deep down Mrs W has a new found respect for me - eating goats, sheep and foreign looking cheeses.

She would not admit it, but I know she is looking at me in a different way. I think she is proud of her hubby!

Beer and Cheese

Well the measures were not very generous but some of the beers were very strong and we probably didnt need too many more!

A lovely evening of good company, beer and cheese - throw in a bacon butty beforehand and you can see why it is good to be me!

Some stella (not artois) beers - Emerson's Aged Old 95 gets a mention (but you can no longer buy it). Bookbinder remains the beer of choice though!

A slightly rude thought

I love word play and today I chuckled away to myself as I was singing a song (in my head)

"The Weight" by The Band - "take a load of fanny................." I am sure that is what they sing

And of course James Blunt trying to run off with that bloke but failing.............

"And now its time to face the truth, I will never be with Hugh"

Happy Days

Another Night of Beer and Cheese

Looking forward to the beer, not so sure about the cheese - all seems a bit of a waste of drinking time!

Will report more tomorrow (subject to head)

A funny thing happened on the way to the forum

Actually it didnt as I wasnt going to the forum at all

Busy at work which is never good

Looking forward to receiving a new book of Linda McCartney's photos which I am very much looking forward to

More to follow once the madness dies down

P & L

Sleep Deprivation

I know everyone thinks they sleep badly, but I think I take it to a whole new level

More details to follow

And talking of which

Feet run in the Wilesmith family, or rather toes run. The apin and suffering I inherite from my father and have now passed on to the wee fella is incalculable.

Anyway, looks like things might finally be improving for James and his toes

I of course beyond redemption - I usually just find it easier to rip the toenail off and start again

Painful but effective in the short term

Peace and Love

How does one Split a tooth?

News just arriving from the Northern Hemisphere suggests son James has split a tooth. Ouch! How on earth does that happen

More info to follow as and when I know more

Charity Collection

Maybe I am getting old (er) and more cynical (er) but I am getting increasingly wary of charity collectors

Young lad turned up at our front door the other night and asked me to sponsor him - I did, but with reservations (despite the fact he spotted a photo of The Beatles in our front hallway and said he was a fan)

I am sure he was kosher, and I hate myself for thinking ill of someone who was undoubtedly going to undertake the 40 hour fast (I would imagine 40 minutes would be all I could manage)

I hope he does it and that the charity gets the money. Probably I am tainted by the many stories of money being misappropriated from charities etc

A Terrible Accident

Drive home last night was a bit of a route march - a terrible accident on the Port Road - the police closed it off and sent us on a very long diversion - an annoyance but nothing too awful

The point of this post is that the woman in front of me gave the cop absolute arseholes as if it was his fault - he didnt know all the details for sure, but I think the accident had only just happened

I hope she is very pleased with herself and her flash sports car

PS - one of the people in the accident died

What is in a name?

Sometimes I think of something and as stupid as it might be I just start smiling

There is one joke that I was sent years ago that when I even think about it I started to laugh (not always inwardly either) it was that funny

Anyway, was thinking yesterday about people who name their kids after famous people, places of their conception, sporting teams and the like.

I know my ex-wife would have guess if our son had been named John, Paul, George or Ringo, but she never really understood the significance of "James" (as in James Paul McC) when I suggested it - so I got that one through the censors!

But what made me smile yesterday was talking about a guy called Patrick and me wondering if anyone in Scotland was named Patrick Thistle in homage to the football team up there - Partick Thistle. The answer is probably not and it is not even funny, but it lifted a otherwise dull day for me!

PS My mate Mike got "Astrid" (as in Kirchherr) past his censors - sweet as bro!

Full Moon

Never seen the moon so full and so near as it appeared to be this morning. Wow!

Mind you it was so cold this morning my eyes were weeping, my nose was running and my body was shivering as I waited for the bus that I may not have seen anything at all!

Skinny Jeans

Have you seen those terrible thin (and sometimes not so thin) young guys with their skinny jeans half way down their arse?

I would like to see how they would cope if there was an emergency as I suspect they could run at no more than 3 miles an hour and would probably trip over within the first few seconds

Frankly lads if I can see your crack then you should not be allowed out on the streets (unless you are mobile bike rack scheme)

Get sensible fitting trousers and live longer

Who is Harry Nilsson and Why is Everyone Talking 'bout him?

Fantastic documentary - grab yourself a beer and a copy of this film - it is really something special - for anyone who loves music this is a must see

A great voice, a lovely man and a wonderful talent, but enough about me - Harry was pretty special as well

Some amazing archive footage of all your musical heroes and more

I promise you will not be disappointed

More Emperor's New Clothes

Such was the waves of support and agreement after my posting last week I have decided to add a few more "things" I simply don't "get" or like or understand why they are so popular

Lindsay Lohan
Paris Hilton
Sushi
The Turn Left Rule (NZ please get rid of sooner rather than later)
Netball

More to follow!

Messing Around in Boats

A perfect day yesterday - rose late, did a quick shop and then on board a wonderful boat to watch some yachties messing about in their boats

No idea about who own or even how the extremely clever people can go up and down when the wind is blowing the wrong way (brilliant stuff) but got to have a few beers, a nibble or 2 and see some sealions frolicing

Life is good on days like that

Of course, this morning I woke to cold (almost icy) conditions and a sprinkling of snow on the highest hills around the village

A Not Terribly Nice Kiwi Guy

I have been following the story of the guy who has mislead a lot of Kiwis with his offers to buy shares at seemingly generous terms - until the small print is read

Seems to be preying on the old and the unsavy

Priceless that his name is Bernard Whimp - I smile every time I hear it - more Wimp than Whimp though methinks

Peace and Love

Double Glazing

Given the Scottish heritage of the mighty village of Dunedin I am fascinated by the lack of insulation, double glazing, central heating etc. It has been explained to me as the hardy souls never feeling the cold etc - all I can think of is the money just pouring out of the roof, windows etc - I can't imagine Scottish folk wanting to heat (and pay for) the great outdoors.

A Joke

I don't normally do jokes as I am rubbish at them but this is one I heard and it made me smile...............

I was sitting at home last night with Mrs W who was imbibing on a cheeky wee Central Otago Pinot Noir when she suddenly (and very unexpectantly) said:
"I love you",
being surprised I asked:
 "is that you or the wine talking?"
Mrs W not missing a beat said:
"I was actually talking to the wine"
So there you go - the reason why I dont do jokes!

A Generational Thing

Technology - an ever increasing pace of change

Frankly I struggle with many bits of technology (it gets smaller as my eyesight deterioates and my fingers get more clumsy) Mrs W has an iPod that is so small I have never worked out how to use it

Of course teenagers and younger just pick things up and somehow have an indepth knowledge instantly of how to use them.

Anyway, the point of this entry in my series of random thoughts is how things come about

Son James made me smile when he talked about playing with his "Wii" (pronounced Wee I believe) and all I could do was to pull a face which suggested it was not a good idea to be playing with such things unless you are Madonna or that English actress (was it Sarah someone possibly Boulting? she was the daughter of someone famous and now I am going to have to Google her) who used to drink hers.

There was a point in all of this somewhere, but I seem to have lost it along the way - old age?

Hair Today, More Tomorrow

Apologies dear reader for the lack of posting yesterday - the page would not let me update - it probably has some form of quality control inbuilt into it and decided the content of my postings is not up to scratch.

Anywayup, the subject for todays epistle - hair

As I nudge ever nearer to my half a telegram from the Queen I wanted to lament the fact (as so many have before me) that hair seems to enjoy growing on or out of every orifice excepting the top of my head.

Eyebrows grown at an alarming rate, hair sprouts out of and on ears, you could knot with my nose hair and I could probably shave 3 or 4 times a day and I will still not be a smooth kisser (of course that might be me rather than the scratchy chin)

So why is it that God has such fun with men of a certain age?

Over to you loyal reader

Peace and Love

Master Chef NZ

I shouldn't care but I do get sucked into some of those awful reality shows

Mrs W and I found ourselves watching TV1 last night for the semi final of MCNZ (is MasterChef 1 word or 2?)

Stu (from Dunedin) gone and our voices hoarse at shouting at the TV

Bliss!

Stu seemed like a good bloke - anyone who does pies on that show is ok as far as I am concerned

Facebook

Why do I feel so weary or maybe just wary of Facebook?

I find it very invasive - I have "accepted" a number of friends just because I would feel bad about rejecting them

But really do I need to know everytime someone does a poo or takes LSD or wakes up married to an heir to the throne?

Please do not be offended if I don't immediately accept you as a friend on my vastly overrated Facebook site.

Peace and Love

Blogging

Over beer last night one of the seasoned drinkers asked the question - what does "Blog" stand for - I knew the answer but the amount of beer made me hesitant (as to usually making me feel superhuman)

A blog (a blend of the term web log)^[1] is a type of website or part of a website. Blogs are usually maintained by an individual with regular entries of commentary, descriptions of events, or other material such as graphics or video. Entries are commonly displayed in reverse-chronological order. Blog can also be used as a verb, meaning to maintain or add content to a blog.

So now you know if you didnt already

Peace and Love
M

The Morning After The night Before

Mayfest! Stepped outside of my usual comfort zone to try some new and exciting exports from Emerson's - enjoyed the Bookbinder but then went toward the new productions - Bandsmans Trumpet (I think) and then Mayfest - both very suppable. Fantastic stuff. Felt remarkably robust this morning. I think the grog may have killed the nasty bug germs that Mrs W fell foul of overnight.

Why is there always "a nasty bug going round"? Soon as you mention illness there is always a nasty bug to blame - should we be nicer to bugs and then they might be less nasty (or indeed they could make you well or something, or paint your house or rearrange the cushions etc

Thank you for bearing with me.

Thought for the Month - May

There is no "I" in team, but there is at least one in Bullshit

Blown to Buggery

Or not as the case might be

Standing waiting for the bus this morning (it is Thirsty Thursday and the car gets a day off) I was aware of two huge logging trucks coming from either direction

Usually one going past me is enough to create a huge wind tunnel effect - but this morning they seemed to be able to cancel each other out and my neatly brushed hair remained so!

Fantastic!

Beer

A wise man (indeed a friend of mine which would indicate a certain intelligence perchance?) once said to me "There is good beer and there is great beer - there is nothing else"

A wise man I think you would agree

Though I have had some homebrews over the years that have tested me somewhat.

Current local favourite is Emerson's. Only there Clam Stout left me umming and aahing. Bookbinder is the perfect session ale, Taeri George is wonderful and everything else is worth investigating

Don't take it on my say so - trust the wise man above who told us that it is at least good and otherwise it would be great!

Bin Laden

Is anyone else uncomfortable about the news over the last 24 hours?

The guy was obviously dangerous, and would undoubtedly have struck again. But, the scenes of folks in the US looked much akin to the religious zealots western media portray mockingly each time the people of the Middle East take to the streets. The chants of "USA, USA" do make me cringe somewhat. It is the worse kind of nationalism from the current Superpower.

It took them more than 10 years to track Bin Laden down - and that is not an impressive statistice from where I am sitting. I knew or knew of people who died in the Twin Towers, Lockerbie bombing and was myself almost involved in the 7/7 bombings in London. Killing Bin Laden (or Col Gaddaffi) doesnt bring any of those people back or make this world any safer in the long run.

Unfortunately, the reprisals might be even worse than we have already seen.

I don't normally touch upon politics or religion - so I hope I havent alienated you, dear reader.

Peace and Love to all

Infinite Variables in Music

As you drive around hither and thither listening to the radio and trying to avoid hitting some of the more reckless examples of Kiwi driving incompetence, do you ever think "I wonder how many different songs could be written?" There must be a finite number of notes audible to mankind? Those notes can only go into so many sequences and therefore there must be an absolute number of unique songs that can be written?

I bet the folks from the good old days of rock and pop are pleased they got in early because otherwise they might find someone else had written their songs before they did

Referees

Yes, one of the most difficult of jobs and especially when rugby is the sport. Not sure if I can be sued for my blogging efforts so I will be careful here. The ref on Friday night's game between the Mighty Highlanders and The Blues was a little bit lacking in the milk of human kindness as far as the local team was concerned.

Decisions all seemed to go one way - and it wasnt always the right way.......................

Still, the Mighty Highlanders have had a huge turnaround this year and let us hope that this success also manifests itself into the Mighty Otago.

First trip to the House of Pain this season - not a happy one!

How can sin bin offences only apply to one team?

Anyway, better luck next time

Spring has Sprung

Well actually it is Autumn. It was me who was sprung (unceremoniously) last night - Mrs W found this blog!
Despite all my wily ruses she "googled - Mark Wilesmith Blog" and this popped up. So, wanting to be deep undercover for at least a year actually lasted about a month.

So, what to do? Should I abandon my efforts to a largely disinterested and disaffected world?

If I don't hear from anyone I will blindly plough on producing this work of art!